FML. in that holy shit i just spent $575 at the dentist kind of way.

apparently im a chronic night clencher. which can (and has) led to receding gums, exposing the roots to invasive bacteria. causing extreme sensitivity, and eventually your teeth fall out. yeah, its that awesome. at the tender age of 23 i have an 'advanced' case of teeth clench induced receding gum lines, some 4-5 mm on some teeth. remedy? a $475 glorified retainer. a small piece of plastic. $475.

F. M. L.

so now i have to wear this (and REPLACE) contraption for the REST OF MY LIFE. once a clencher, always a clencher. no one is really sure what causes night clenching, theories attribute genetics (thanks a lot family) or stress. seeing as i cant really change my gene pool, and i dont really see the whole school/work/life becoming any less stressful in the foreseeable future, im stuck clenching. now im creeped out of my own mouth and wonky gums. and theres nothing i can do to stop it! i never even knew i was a night clencher!!

to top things off, im scheduled to go back in 2 weeks to pick up my *personalized* night guard, and fork over another $425 for bonds. bonds cover the gap between where my gum should be and where my gum is now with a synthetic, teeth colored lining. 5 teeth, $85 a pop. WITH insurance. sigh.

i know it could be worse...at least i caught it now? i just cant seem to shake the feeling that i got majorly shafted. i try and be responsible and make a dentist appointment the second i get insurance, and find out i have an irreversible, uncontrollable, unconscious ridiculous condition.

goodbye new clothes, goodbye weekend trips, hello rice and beans.

shut one door and another one is violently kicked in

this whole life/school/TA/attempting-to-be-somewhat-social combo is kicking my ASS. the latest tribulation in the string of things-that-take-entirely-too-much-time-and-energy was attempting to schedule a dental appointment. now that i finalllllly have health insurance, i decided it was high time to go to the dentists after, oh, 4 + years (wooops). not only is finding a day nearly impossible, between work (earning money to FEED myself) and school (finding time to get shit done so i can SLEEP at night), but apparently i have to be assigned to a particular dental office. who knew? and why didnt anyone tell ME?

After waiting on hold to speak with an insurance representative (gotta love kenny G), i managed to figure out who i was originally assigned to. Great, not too difficult. Look up the phone number, give them a call. Lo and behold, they dont accept patients unless theyve already been treated there! ummm xenophobia much? Fine, ok, ill take my business elsewhere thank you very much. Call up the insurance company again, wait on hold, switch to another doctor. call that office. What was that? you DONT accept my insurance plan anymore? as of FRIDAY? naturally. Call insurance company back, yet again, speak with nancy (oh yeah, we were on a first name basis by now) and switch to a third and FINAL dental office who miraculously did exist, did except me, and does accept my insurance. bitchy receptionist aside, i think we have a winner.

lord knows ill likely be turned away from my appointment on thursday and shunned with a scarlet letter because the insurance company forgot to send me my dental insurance card. i can expect it in the mail in 10 business days. good thing i only have 2 before my appointment....despite the fact that i have a temporary card AND my policy number, im sure it violates 85 policies to be seen without the actual plastic card. maybe im being too pessimistic?

fingers crossed!

to all the women who have ever endured a breakup (and for those die hard crochet fans): I AM WOMAN

oh the joys of the being a TA. grading, teaching students biology, teaching myself biology... ive spent every weekend re-learning material that got pushed back into the recesses of my mind over the past 6+ years. pushed back, forgot, never learned, its all relative. despite all that (re)learning, despite the fact that NONE of these kids are biology majors, i somehow ALWAYS get asked the one question im unsure about. to honor the 'all knowing TA' image, i try and fumble an answer. which usually involves me digging myself deeper and deeper into bullshit. thankfully, being a TA has taught me how to entirely evade answering questions i dont know. i DO want them to understand, but hell to the no am i supposed to know everything about biology. the kids in my first lab section on wednesday are the unfortunate guinea pigs, bearing the brunt of my mistakes and wonky explanations as i wade through material i myself vaguely grasp. my second section on friday runs much smoother, im virtually a seasoned pro by then! not sure what beta hemolysis looks like? coincidentally, neither did i 2 days ago, but NOW im all over that stapholococcus identification!

dont deny it, you know you want to know.

i am thinking about _____________________