what a fiasco! sort of...
i headed over to the capitol building to attend a caucus on contaminants in our coastal waterways this morning. already slightly peeved at having to wait in an unnecessarily slow line, i finally make my way through the metal detector without a hitch when a security guard flags me down. of course. he singled out my lunch bag, claiming NO food was allowed in the building. WTF. people work there! do government employees not eat?? i should have gone with the tride and true 'im a diabetic' excuse to avoid the hassle, but honestly, am i not expected to bring my lunch from home? excuse me if some of us arent paid exorbitant amounts of taxpayer dollars and cant afford to buy lunch out.
after some arguing, he suggested i go drop off my lunchbag at my representative's office across the street (aka MILES away). hell to the NO was i going to go through all that trouble. i had already broken a bit of a sweat hauling ass to get to this building on time. not to mentioned by the time i explained why i had to leave my 'lunchbox' with diane feinstein's staffers to babysit, the damn event would have been over! so i did what any resourceful person would do. i left the building, found a trashcan, and stashed my lunchbox behind it and prayed no one would take it.
i was half glib from my trickery and half pissed from having to go through the trouble in the first place, when i realized i was LATE and no idea where i was going. i asked a security guard standing in the hall for directions, who explained all i needed to do was turn left at the "crypt." UMMMM come again? crypt? when did this become a goosebumps novel?? i smile and thank him, and continue walking, looking for signs of coffins or skeletons. i turn down a wrong hallway when i hear the security guard SCREAM after me "I TOLD YOU THE CRYPT" followed by v. violent hand motions pointing in opposite directions. i stood there helpless for a moment, before he turned away and i seized the opportunity to get the hell out of sight and ducked down a hallway. which just so happened to be the right hallway!. i turned to see what this supposed 'crypt' looked like. a marble foyer. maybe the columns...?
so heres my advice if you ever plan to visit the capitol building: start packing on the calories now, as you certainly arent allowed to bring food inside, and with the crazy mazed hallways and crack ass directions, who knows when youll ever find your way out
